How do you Dream Bigger? If we knew how to dream bigger, we’d already do it, or so we might think. So how do you start dreaming bigger? It is easier said than done, I can say for myself. Did you ever ponder the question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?”. There is no one size fits all for dreaming bigger. I have found some points that helped me to learn to dream bigger.
Believe you can achieve, if you do not believe then your dreams can never happen. Cultivate confidence regardless of where you obtain it. Face the fear of Failure. Not all of your dreams will come true, but if you do not try none of them will. Face the fear of success. Do not be afraid to shoot for your dreams. Use your imagination. Why not shoot for the stars? You can go as high as you dare to dream. Finally, overcome obstacles that life gives you to live your dream.
Believe You Can Achieve
Sometimes it is hard to grasp the concept, “Believe You Can Achieve”. To achieve big things, first, you have to believe that you can. If we’re not sure we deserve to achieve big things, why would we try, right? I came from a very poor background-poverty. When you grow up in a poverty-stricken environment you develop a lot of ingrained thoughts and behaviors of money worries and nothing ever coming easy. Dreams are not even entertained. Focus is on surviving. Thoughts of once poor always poor seem to constantly stay in your mind. My parents were divorced when I was 3, older sister 7, older brother 5, and baby sister 6 weeks old. Therefore, the struggles began. No consistent place to live, wearing hand-me-down clothes, and lack of food and heat during cold months.
If these struggles were not bad enough, my mom had a physiological breakdown after the divorce. She hated all men especially my dad, which I loved with all my heart. Yes, I was a daddy’s girl. Unfortunately or fortunately I looked and acted like my dad more than my siblings. This created a toxic environment for me. My mother would literally at times try to beat my dad out of me. Being constantly told how ugly I was and how no one would ever love me, I developed a need to overachieve to try to win my mother’s love, which was given freely to my siblings. I dared to believe I could achieve, which I did in my early education years.
Cultivate Confidence to Dream Big
How do you cultivate confidence when your own mother is constantly telling you negative attributes about yourself? You must get a confidence boost from wherever you can. To grasp this boost, try to remember a time when you succeeded in doing something you set your mind to. Or, if you have a hard time, look for role models that dared to dream big and achieve more than was expected of them. Use your experiences and others’ as inspiration and self-motivation.
My first and biggest confidence boost came when I defended myself against my mother. One day during an altercation my mother was sitting on me smothering me with a pillow stating, “I wish you would die”. I believed I was going to die at the age of thirteen. Something rose up in me and I fought back for the first time. I knew I was fighting for my life. Somehow, I was able to get free and then tell her not to ever touch me again or I would fight back and someone would die. I must have had a look in my eyes that told her I was dead serious. The altercations never happened again after that day. Sad to say my confidence came from a dark place, but Praise God it did. I used this confidence to excel in school graduating with honors and a full academic scholarship.
Face Fear of Failure
Next, you face the fear of failure. If you desire to do something big, the fear is intense. The thoughts of failing come creeping into our minds. The negative thoughts of my childhood started to manifest their way back into my mind. If you can relate, then shift your mindset or perspective. Develop a growth mindset- the belief that growth and learning are more important than success or other people’s opinions. Allowing you to focus to the journey instead of the end goal. Therefore, enjoying the pursuit, even if it ultimately does result in failure.
I am sad to say that I did not take advantage of the scholarship because it did not include transportation, housing and food. I had been working since I was fifteen. Even though I lived at home we were excepted to contribute over half of our earnings to the household expenses. I could not afford to continue to pay these expenses and try to go to college. So, I continued to work full time and go to a local cosmetology school. I graduated in nine months top of the class and began a professional career.
Face Fear of Success
We must face the fear of success. Sometimes we don’t pursue big dreams because we’re afraid of failure. We actually are afraid of success. Success can mean different things to different people-some of these things are scary. For example, my success was feeling like the odd one out in my family because regardless of my achievements my mother was always quick to remind me not to get the big head about it. I felt bad about my accomplishments because my siblings did not achieve the same. I had to learn to work through this fear.
How did I work through the fear? Quit cosmetology and moved away from home. Goal of a consisent income and quit working two jobs because I was exhausted at the age of nineteen. Started to work in a textile (carpet) company on the shop floor. I choose to dare to believe again. I signed every posted job bid which was the way it was done in the late eighties and early nineties. Interviewing for all jobs being told I could not do them. I refused to believe that and challenged them to give me a try. They took me up on my offer and my climb began.
Use Your Imagination to Dream Big
By using your imagination you can dare to dream big. I married and someone did love me in spite of what my mother said. I married and started a family. It did not work out after thirteen years. People you love will not always be happy with your success. I became a divorced mother with one child. Something I fought hard not to achieve, but both parties must be on the same page. I had to start again by visualizing a variety of different possible exciting outcomes that might come from following your dreams.
During my thirteen year marriage I became the youngest and first female supervisor ever. I later became a Department Manager. Within months I became a Department Manager over several departments all before the age of thirty-five, which is quite an accomplishment for a female in a male-dominated industry. After the divorce, I focused on my career and raising my son. Unexpectedly, my soul mate entered my life. Remarried and had someone not only support my dreams, but encouraged and helped me achieve them. Went college and yes, I did continue to work my full-time job which was a Director of Quality over multiple sites. I graduated with a Bachelor of Applied Science in Business Management with a 4.0 grade point average.
Overcome Life’s Obstacles to Dream Big
Life still happens. You must learn how to overcome the obstacles that life gives. After my divorce my son changed drastically. He became rebellious, disrespectful, and a drug addict. My son was a straight A student, gifted athlete (3 sports), and played in the youth group band at church. Introduced to drugs from his step-brother at the age of eleven. By the age of fourteen in Georgia you can choose the parent you want to live with. Of course, he choose his dad because there was no rules and no consequences. He was failing and skipping school to smoke pot. Expelled from school for selling pot. Refusing to be a snitch never gave the drug leader so he was forced to go to alternative school.
God had a plan. Charges forced by court order my son live with me. Part of his probation was to finish school with straight A’s and stayed clean. He did both. by graduating six months early with with honors. He started college. Again life happens, he quits goes back to live with his dad and the cycle begins again. Shortly after this, my company sold out and my job eliminated after 30 years of dictated service. My wonderful loving husband said to just retire at fifty years old. So I did retire. Was bored after two weeks so I painted the entire house-painted 13 rooms. and put down luxury vinyl floors on two floors. I decided to try something different for a career. Thus, I signed up for my PBS.
Again life happens. My father, my hero, died. My mother’s health declined. I became my mother’s main caregiver which I had forgiven her a while back because I had to let go of the hatred I had for her to be free myself. I fell into a deep depression even considered taking my life. Fast forward almost four years later, I am finally working my PBS like I should. I have achieved Google AdSense, have customers in anchor offers, and making some money. During this time I have achieved my Real Estate License in both Georgia and Tennessee and actually sold a house.
In conclusion Dare to Dream Big
Dreaming big doesn’t have to mean we suddenly want to be a millionaire or become famous (although it could mean that for some of us). Dreaming bigger starts with the belief one can achieve great things by cultivating confidence. Thinking back on one’s past successes or failures may help boost confidence. Use your imagination visualizing the possible outcomes of following your dreams. Maybe you imagine yourself owning your own business, having a big family, or traveling all over the world. I do! I plan on achieving this dream with my new career in PBS.
My favorite verse in the bible: “I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me“. This verse is meant for people who are struggling-a reminder, an encouragement, that though life may be tough God is with you. This is a verse we could/should go to when you know what hits the fan. Paul penned this verse from a cold, dark, prison cell in which he found contentment. Why? Because he had what matters most, JESUS! I found during my darkest times if I only look up for my strength, I can do anything with God’s help. Yes, I am putting a plan in place in order to visualize it. I am going to DREAM BIG!!!
Response Magic